i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
