Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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