It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
