Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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