16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
