She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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