My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
