walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
