I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
