Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you didnt know i had herpes?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
