she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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