well I can't set my house on fire every night
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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