i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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