Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize