dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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