He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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