Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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