Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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