Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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