Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize