it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
