you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
