i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
