I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
