U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
