how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
