I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
