The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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