His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
