It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Randomize
