is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
