We're facebook friends in real life
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
