It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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