I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
