at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
