I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
