Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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