She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
