Quick, to the slutcave!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
