So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
