she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize