I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
