See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
