I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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