By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize