i was born a porn star she said
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize