whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
