But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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