people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
