I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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