Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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