Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
