if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
