New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
