Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
