you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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