They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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