You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Someone shit on the floor
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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