did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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