Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
