Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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